People with a pleasing personality are essentially slaves successfully trained by their parents. The first type is the reversal of the parent-child relationship. In a normal family, parents should take care of their children's emotions and pay attention to their emotional needs. However, in families with pleasing personality children, the situation is precisely the opposite. The child has to soothe the parents' emotions, and the parents require the child to center their world around them. Think about it: when a child is forced to take care of their parents' emotions for a long time, they gradually become accustomed to putting others' feelings first in interpersonal relationships. Therefore, this group of people is usually highly sensitive, particularly good at observing others' negative emotions, and always tries to care for others, but often neglects their own emotions and feelings.

The second type is when parents casually infringe on their children's boundaries. In a normal family, parents should guard their children's growth space, allowing them to explore freely and establish personal boundaries. However, many controlling parents aggressively invade their children's space. For instance, some parents often go through their children's diaries, enter their rooms without knocking, and as time goes on, the child's autonomy is dismantled. In society, they become afraid to defend their own boundaries, so many people choose to concede and retreat when faced with conflict. Thus, this intergenerational transmission of control patterns plays out not only in the family but also unconsciously manifests in the outside world, creating a vicious cycle.

The third type is that some parents will use obedient, sensible, filial, and grateful PUA tactics. The essence of all these behaviors is to make the child more controllable. So many children unconditionally care for their parents' emotions, and even when they feel wronged, they do not argue or make a fuss. Long-term acquiescence and compliance are just to hear a compliment from their parents, like "Ah, my child is really sensible." You see, this is a kind of obedience that has been repeatedly trained; it is not a heartfelt choice made by the individual. We often see some parents emphasizing what? "I sacrificed for you, I dedicated myself for you," thus demanding gratitude and filial piety from the child. They create a sense of moral indebtedness, allowing them to often occupy the moral high ground in the parent-child relationship. However, the child is often in a state of feeling indebted to the parents. Then there are some parents who always emphasize gratitude; they constantly express that their love is very strict and comes with conditions. For example, some parents often say that their child should bring them face and be excellent enough, which leads to the child lacking the nourishment of unconditional love from a young age. It becomes very difficult for them to establish true inner confidence, and they often do not dare to face conflicts.

The fourth type is to belittle, deny, suppress, and destroy a child's self-esteem. Many parents often, in the name of love, cling to their child's mistakes and belittle them, suppressing them. Over time, the child internalizes this denial and feels useless. Many parents use this method to place themselves in a higher position in the relationship, causing the child to lose their individuality and autonomy, ultimately becoming a hollow slave who obeys orders. Therefore, you can see that children whose self-esteem is frustrated often become excessively sensitive in interpersonal relationships. They tend to overly focus on others' words and actions because they fear being disliked, so they habitually over-interpret what others say and do. As a result, for many people with a pleasing personality, socializing becomes a source of internal struggle. Hence, we often say that many people with a pleasing personality frequently suffer from social anxiety. However, from a psychological perspective, this is a form of self-protection.